Mistake
by Black Crystall Draygon
Summary: One shot. Short, fluffy SLASH fic with lots of angst at the beginning. I had writer's block, OK?


One shot, very angsty (but it gets fluffy). I felt like it, the plot dragon (called Pyrite) got me because I had writers' block.  
  
New Year. For some, a time for rejoicing. Not for Remus Lupin. A year ago – exactly a year ago, in fact – he and one of his best friends had got completely smashed on Firewhisky and Remus had forgotten one of his most important life-rules. 'Don't sleep with anyone you're not entirely sure about, because you'll be bound to them if you do. Werewolves are monogamous.'  
  
Forgetting that was one of the worst mistakes he had ever made. Now he was bound to the most … unsuitable person in the universe. An idiot who had no notion of fidelity. A fool who didn't understand how much it would hurt if he was. An incredibly dense man called Sirius Black.  
  
And now they had been together for a year now, though they hadn't ever shown any sign of love for each other. Just great friendship and tolerance. Remus knew Sirius had stopped blaming him, though he probably regretted his decision. He also knew something Sirius didn't want him to.  
  
And now they were invited to go to another mindless party where Sirius would doubtless get plastered and probably crash on his way home … if he managed to stagger to his bike before he collapsed.  
  
But …  
  
Sirius looked really good, actually. Remus had to admit it. The leather coat was the finishing touch to the short sleeved black silk shirt – with red-and-green dragon painted on the back and the Chinese symbols spelling 'Padfoot' on the breast pocket – and the tight black jeans. Sirius looked critically at Remus. "I don't like leaving you here alone like this."  
  
"You go," Remus replied. "I'll be just fine. Go and have a great time. It's only a cold, Sirius, I'll live."  
  
"Jim and Lil invited you too."  
  
"Just go, Sirius. You know you want to. And you're dressed now."  
  
"It's New year …"  
  
"I never liked New Year anyway – fireworks scare the wolf and it passes the fear on to me. Bonfire night's a hell. Now Year's barely any better. GO, before I change my mind!"  
  
"Call if you need me …"  
  
"I will. Leave, already!"  
  
Sirius felt bad, but he still went. Remus leant back in his armchair and picked up a mug of hot, sugary brandy and water, taking a sip in the hope it would combat the pain squirming in his stomach. He sniffed and turned the TV on, but the sound hurt his head so he turned it off again.  
  
He knew exactly what was wrong – and that he slowly, slowly dying  
  
*  
  
There was a lot of butterbeer, not to mention firewhisky. He knew he had too much to drink. It was too hot as well, and Sirius could feel the girl leaning on him, hear her tipsy giggles filling his ears. He looked down at her. She was pretty, he had to admit. All seven of her. She grinned up at him, her eyes slits of mirth. Now. Which one to kiss …?  
  
Funny … they kept swaying … the middle one was the only one who stayed still. They all seemed to fade into her, sometimes. He bent his head and their lips connected.  
  
*  
  
At the other end of England, Remus whimpered, curling into a ball in an attempt to shut out the pain threatening to literally break his heart.  
  
*  
  
They were upstairs – how they had got there, Sirius had no idea. She was taking off his clothes, and her own. She touched him in a way that should have brought pleasure … but it hurt. It hurt everywhere – particularly his heart. Suddenly, something clicked in his brain. He was sober in an instant. He knew what was causing this pain. He knew why Remus was ill.  
  
*  
  
Remus' breathing was irregular – his heart was beating too fast and his stomach was twisting. He felt sick and could taste blood at the back of his throat. He shut his eyes, blood bubbling to fill his mouth as he started to cough violently. It spattered across the carpet, a thousand droplets of red dotting his vision. He couldn't stop coughing, couldn't breathe. Why? One mistake, one mistake and God was punishing him in the most painful was by giving him an unfaithful lover.  
  
*  
  
Sirius swore while pulling his clothes back on. He swore all the way down the stairs . He swore until he reached his bike. He swore on the way home until he was hoarse. The pain was still clutching at his heart with bony fingers . He revved the jet-black bike up until the wind stung his face. He had to get home …  
  
*  
  
Remus threw up. It was mostly blood. His eyes were blurring and even what he could see was nasty. He could smell his own blood, taste it, feel it coating his chin and fingers with a slick film. But he wasn't crying. He wouldn't. Never. It wasn't worth it.  
  
*  
  
Sirius skidded into the drive and dumped the bike without bothering to stop the engine. He fumbled with his keys, gave up and simply blasted the lock with a spell. He pushed the door open and pelted into the living room …  
  
Remus looked up. Through a black-red haze he saw Sirius standing in the doorway. "Remus!"  
  
He could barely hear through the tinny whistling in his ears. Sirius rushed over and pulled Remus back until he was leaning against a chair.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me?" he croaked. "Why didn't you tell me that this would happen if I was ever unfaithful? Why didn't you tell me infidelity would kill you?"  
  
Remus swallowed, lifting a hand to wipe his mouth. Now that Sirius was here with him, the pain was lessening. He sniffed, but couldn't yet speak. He looked up into Sirius' eyes.  
  
Tears were falling down his cheeks in a steady stream, tears of anxiety and compassion and sorrow, tears of love. Remus' breath caught in his throat. Sirius reached out hesitantly and ran a finger down his cheek. Remus shut his eyes. The touch of … yes, his mate … it was strange to think of Sirius like that but … it fitted now. That touch eased away the last vestiges of pain. Remus sighed in contentment.  
  
Sirius swallowed hard. Why hadn't he seen it before? Why hadn't he seen the way Remus' slowly greying hair fell, how his eyes sparkled, how … how wonderful he was? Why had he ever wanted to be free of the beautiful creature in front of him? Why?  
  
Remus opened his eyes again and licked his dry lips. "Why did you come back?"  
  
"I … I knew what I was doing to you. I didn't ever want to hurt you …"  
  
"If I die you can go back to her," Remus said, looking away from Sirius. The black haired man cupped his cheek in his hand and turned his face back so he could look into his eyes.  
  
"Why would I want to do that?" Sirius whispered, his voice full of hidden passion. Remus recognised that voice. Sirius used it to seduce girls. Why was he using it on him?  
  
Sirius moved his other hand up to hold Remus' head between his hands. Remus' breathing quickened. Sirius leant forwards until their foreheads were touching. "I never want you to die. I'd much rather be here with you than at some party with a slut who'll be gone by the time I wake up tomorrow."  
  
Remus swallowed. "Why? I – I thought …"  
  
"Remus … I was wrong. I should have said this every night for a year before this – and longer. I only realised it just now, seeing you there on the floor …"  
  
Remus looked up into his midnight eyes and their gazes locked. "I love you."  
  
*  
  
Remus took a deep breath. He wanted to ask why Sirius loved him but his throat was constricted with tears. The werewolf sobbed softly, closing blurred eyes. Sirius pulled him close, murmuring soothing noises to him. Remus leant his head on Sirius' leather-clad shoulder and tried to calm down.  
  
Eventually he stopped crying and just leant on Sirius, enjoying the feeling of soft fingers running up and down his back and warm arms locked around him. He felt safe. He felt loved. After a moment, Sirius asked, "Why don't we go up on the roof? We'll be able to see the fireworks – but not hear them – and then we'll know when it's midnight. It's only about half-eleven."  
  
Remus nodded. Sirius pulled him to his feet and Remus caught sight of the mess he had made. "I'd better clean that up – and get changed."  
  
Sirius smiled. He pulled out his wand and waved it at the blood all over the floor. It disappeared. "Better?"  
  
Remus smiled. Sirius slid an arm around Remus' waist and they slowly walked upstairs. At the top of the stairs, Sirius went up to the roof to wait for Remus, while the werewolf himself went into the bedroom to get changed.  
  
*  
  
Remus pushed open the door to the roof and went out. Sirius had brought a blanket up and was sitting on it, watching the sky. Remus sat down next to him and looked up. Sirius pointed at a star. "Sirius," he stated.  
  
"It's beautiful." He said, whispering, "Not as beautiful as you."  
  
Sirius heard him, and turned to look into his amber eyes. Remus slowly reached out to brush a lock of hair behind Sirius' ear. Sirius sighed as Remus' skin touched his own. Remus moved his hand down onto Sirius' neck as Sirius leant forwards. Remus could feel his breath on his face. Then all feeling was lost in a kiss.  
  
Sirius' lips were soft and gentle, caressing Remus' in the tenderest kiss he had ever received. After a moment, Sirius moved back. Remus leant forwards as he moved back, not wanted to break contact. Sirius slid his arms around the werewolf's waist and pulled him forwards until he was kneeling over Sirius' body. Only then did Remus end the kiss.  
  
Sirius looked up. "This time last year we made a stupid mistake."  
  
Remus smiled. "Mm. We should have waited a year. Then maybe it wouldn't've been a mistake."  
  
Sirius smiled and nodded. Suddenly, his face fell. "I don't deserve you … But I want you so much …"  
  
Remus lay down on top of Sirius and rolled so that Sirius was on top. "You're right. You don't deserve me. You deserve better. And if you want me, then take me …"  
  
Sirius swallowed nervously, but smiled. This time, neither of them were drunk out of their mind. This time, it wasn't a mistake. This time they were in love.  
  
He bent and their lips touched. At the same moment, a thousand fireworks exploded in the sky around them as the last bell of midnight tolled.  
  
*  
  
(OK, that was really, really random and I wrote it very late at night when I was on a high with writers block. Actually I was on a high with sugar and chocolate … forget that thought. Sorry it's so horrible and random and boring. OK, I'm done now. Byeeeeeeeeeeee) 


End file.
